idiopathicsmile:

idiopathicsmile:

i just remembered this story my dad told me one time, about abraham lincoln

a guy challenged abe to a duel once. lincoln very much did not want to duel this cat.

so lincoln agreed, on the condition he got to choose the weapon. maybe that was how it generally went in 19th century dueling culture, i have no idea.

the guy said “sure”

lincoln said, “ok. broadswords.”

so that poor would-be opponent shows up on the day of the would-be duel, and abe is outside, doing, like, some quick sword warmups.

now, back in lincoln’s day, he was, as any american schoolchild can tell you, the tallest fucking dude on the entire fucking planet, so please try to even imagine the majestic reach of this stovepiped giant’s condor-like wingspan.

(wingspan plus broadsword.)

abe’s enemy takes one look at this, does some quick mental calculations on his own arm length (mortal, human), turns around and goes home.

the best part is that, as i remember it, lincoln of course had no fucking idea how to swordfight. it was the 1800s. we had guns. he’d just been, like, waving this giant sword around haphazardly, whacking at tree limbs, making his arms look as big as possible because he knew this joker could see him, and he knew that guy didn’t know that lincoln didn’t know what the hell to do with a broadsword.

anyway, i don’t actually know if that story is true or not but i really really hope it is. i would love to know that the president who defeated the confederacy was also fucking hilarious.

UPDATE: a very helpful anon just linked me to an actual account of the actual historical incident. i got a number of crucial details wrong, as it turns out.

PLOT TWIST: the real version is considerably funnier

merkwelt:

ironinkpen:

ironinkpen:

“that’s just the way the world works” it literally doesn’t have to be but okay

if anyone ever tells you “humans are just selfish / life is cruel / that’s just how the world is, get over it” be critical of them bc there’s a 75% chance they’re just using that as an excuse for their own shitty behavior so that they don’t have to put an effort into being better, kinder people

Creative photos from mom and her two daughters

alentailleur:

rhube:

jonsnowboard:

Instagram : @allthatisshe

I love all three of them instantly.

This is so pure. I love it

rehlaxe:

Have you ever really thought about how when you look at the moon, it’s the same moon Shakespeare and Marie Antoinette and Van Gogh and Cleopatra looked at.

historicallyinnacurate:

bloomingeveryday:

we need carbs and we need fats and we need proteins and honestly fuck diet culture for normalizing malnourishment 

People commenting on this saying we don’t need sugars don’t know how the human body works